Positive thinking can bring about positive change

After reading an article by Shawn Achor in the Harvard Business Review, I wanted to try these 5 steps to changing my mindset from its current state to a more positive one.  Here are the 5 steps and my responses in purple.

• Jot down three things they were grateful for.
• I am grateful for my family.  I have a beautiful wife and 4 wonderful children.  Not a moment goes by that I am not thankful for all they are.
• I am grateful for my job.  I get to be a part of the entire educational system in the district I work in.  I get to influence change in every aspect from Kindergarten to 12th grade, from Literacy to Mathematics, from Principal to Custodian to Teacher and everything in between.
• I am grateful for my health.  While I could lose a few pounds, I am otherwise healthy.  It is too easy to take that for granted.

• Write a positive message to someone in their social support network.
• I chose to write a short message here in this blog rather than on Twitter so that I would not be held to 140 characters.  There is a colleague I work with that is always willing to stop what he is doing to help me think through issues or problems I am facing.  I won't say that he answers my questions, because he doesn't.  He helps me think them through so that I may answer my own questions.  He also is able to tell me what others cannot.  He is always honest, and always right to the point.   This colleague is supportive and at the same time pushes me to think differently.  For that, I am thankful. 

• Meditate at their desk for two minutes.
• Mind like water...
• From David Allen's book, "Getting things Done":

In karate, there is an image that's used to define the position of perfect readiness: "mind like water." Imagine throwing a pebble into a still pond. How does the water respond? The answer is, totally appropriately to the force and mass of the input; then it returns to calm. It doesn't overreact or underreact.

The power in a karate punch comes from speed, not muscle; it comes from a focused "pop" at the end of the whip. It's why petite people can learn to break boards and bricks with their hands: it doesn't take calluses or brute strength, just the ability to generate a focused thrust with speed. But a tense muscle is a slow one. So the high levels of training in the martial arts teach and demand balance and relaxation as much as anything else. Clearing the mind and being flexible are key.

Anything that causes you to overreact or underreact can control you, and often does. Responding inappropriately to your email, your staff, your projects, your unread magazines, your thoughts about what you need to do, your children, or your boss will lead to less effective results than you'd like. Most people give either more or less attention to things than they deserve, simply because they don't operate with a "mind like water."

• Done

• Exercise for 10 minutes.
• Be right back...
• OK...working in a school, wearing a suit makes it difficult to exercise... so I cheated...I briskly walked through the building up a flight of stairs, down another, across the building, up another flight of stairs and back down.  I promise to exercise more later.

• Take two minutes to describe in a journal the most meaningful experience of the past 24 hours.
• In the past 24 hours, I had a very important conversation with my mother after a realization or epiphany of sorts.  After watching my 4 children open their Hanukkah presents at a record pace and my oldest child (15) asking me, "That's it?", I realized something truly remarkable.  I realized that my kids don't have the ability to understand completely what it means to give up something so others could be happy.  They don't or can't understand that I gave up buying things for myself, like a new suit for work, or a new pair of shoes, so that I could buy my son a new iphone or the new uggs for my daughters.  My realization was not as much about my kids, but about my own mother.  I immediately picked up the phone and called her.  I told her that I was sorry that I couldn't understand it before today, but that I was so appreciative of all the things she was able to give me and my sister throughout the years, even those years, when she barely had any money for gas to get her to work.  I told her that I now know what she had to give up, what she had to sacrifice to give to me and my sister and that I loved her for it.  I also know now that she did those things not because she wanted a "thanks mom", but because she wanted to see me be happy, just like it makes me happy seeing my own kids smile and laugh.  

Being happy is a state of mind.  It is about being appreciative, grateful and caring.  I am happier now than I was 20 minutes ago mostly becuase I have brought to the surface all the things that make me happy.  Now all I need is some music.  I'll listen to my favorite songs on my way home.

If you want to smile and think differently about what makes you happy, I encourage you to watch Shawn Achor's TED talk:  Click Here.

Follow me @brian_seligman